The Sky is Gonna Cry Tonight

I dont know what im feeling right now.
I had to blog something.
Everything is falling apart. I mean, ive never seen him cry before and he just sits there on the couch looking at pictures as if it were gonna help and those pictures are totally irrelevant to everything thats been going on. I ask him what hes doing and he goes, "Crying. Looking at happy pictures".... is that supposed to help things? uhm, well its obviously not. I dont understand were things went wrong. I want MY OLD FAMILY BACK. the ones i used to know. Its crazyyy upsetting. I dont even know how to fix it. This will pass by but until it does, its just sooooo hard. Its just so hard to understand. O_o... ugh.
Im so lost right now. And i dont want to damage myself with this situation.
Im going to florida at 3AM and im excited and all, but then again, Im not... I dont know.
whatever.


It was only just the other day when all this felt so real,
Like nothing could go wrong,
it was like a never ending dream,
nothing ever changed,
For so long,
But now you've gone away,
And i've tried turning the page,
and its just not the same

It was Long Overdue Anyway. 0_o

I dont care if youre reading this.
I dont care if you hate me.
I dont care what anyone thinks of me.
I dont care that you tell anyone.
I dont care that you think its stupid that i didnt mention names.
Im sick of this shit. Because of how selfish you are, youve managed to brake everyone apart again. And now the person who i thought was good, blames me for shit? There are three people in my immediate life,besides my parents and they are three people im close to.
To you, Person one: Why are you jealous of him and her. Oh youre not? then why do you act like it? Why do you insist on seeing this family hate each other? Why does your life revolve around only one person? (we know shell be gone soon) Why do hide out and act like nothing is wrong? Why do you pretend to forget about whats happened?
Person two: Why dont you tell your feelings to him, hes your family!? Why do have to act like your best person ever? Why do you blame me for things? Why do have to be so moody? Why do you always keep everything in? Why do you take it out on mom and dad? Why do you make a huge issue out of everything and then ignore it later on? Why do you put everyone thru this?
Person three: What happened to you? Why have you become a pain that was definetly never there before? Why do you put so much on your shoulders? when we try to help, You lash out at us. Why do you hate me so much? Why have you too become so moody? Where did everything go wrong that you have to blame everyone else?

I dont understand anything anymore... Why has everyone changed? I miss how everyone used to be. Its really getting to me and everyones going to regret this. Im the youngest here and it has its perks but now, im getting no attention when its most important because im about to crack. I refuse to open myself up to anyone anymore. And if i do open myself up to you, consider yourself lucky.

All hell has broke loose around here and I dont understand why. Its over the dumbest things and its getting out of hand now.
I hope you all read this and I hope you all consider on changing.

Is it any wonder we've lost control?
Feelings come, feelings go.
-nothern star by mel c.