Maybe its just me...

but i feel all alone.


I may have a bunch of friends. And I may have about 5 legit Best Friends, but somehow i feel all alone. I think I just spent 15 minutes in the shower crying. And im not stooping to that level I did 2 years ago. or 3...whatever. What is time anymore anyway?
I wish something good would happen for me. Ok so, nothing bad has happened recently but, i suppose nothing good ethier. I feel so lost. I look at my AIM everyday waiting for someone to come on that I can spill to... but, its like that person doesnt exsist. Almost 25 ppl can b on but id prefer being alone? Yes, I have Best friends and if youre reading this, dont take anything personally. I just dont no whats wrong with me.

Maybe hopes are too high? Dreams are too big? and im afraid its all gna come crashing down? Idk. But this feeling is not the best. EVERYTHING I do... its so, difficult? I wish i could write something on here to whine about but... I cant pinpoint it.

Im actually going to stop typing now... my rambling doesnt help but my thoughts r down i suppose.

*sigh*

Added:

Oh yeah, thats the other thing that set me off. My mom is all like wheres the boyfriends? none in the picture? Why dont you go meet some guys? Hang out with a few from school. MOM ... i know ur looking out for me, thank you BUT 90% of the guys in my school smoke and drink all the time and do all that crap.. I have no patience for that... AND the other 10%? consists of ppl i would never think of dating as well as my guy friends who r just that. FRIENDS.
IM NOT THEM! I DNT HAVE A H.S. SWEETHEART. IT AINT GNA HAPPEN. at least know that I want to get married and cant wait to spend my life with someone I love and kids of my own... so, its not like im failing in that dept. My mind is on it. but im 17 and my mind is set for other things right now.

o.0 not helping.